Don't Get Married - Until You Discuss These 11 Critical Money Topics

by Merra Lee Moffitt, AWMA, CMFC, CFP

If you want a lifetime of reaching your goals and having choice in your time, money, and talents; then you must talk about these 11 financial topics before getting married. There is generally no right or wrong answer. In talking about money, you'll be sharing your goals, dreams, and fears. Having a frank, open dialogue will not only take you to a new level of intimacy, but also build a lifelong partnership.

1. Who owns what? Your current car is likely in your own name. But after you're married, will your next car be held in joint name or just one name? That house you want to buy later most likely needs to be in both names.

2. How much will each contribute? Most couples have unequal paychecks. Talk about how much each will contribute proportionally towards rent (or mortgage), food, electric, Internet, etc.

3. Who pays the bills? Which of you will have the responsibility of writing the checks, setting up AutoPay, and balancing the accounts? Will each person pay specific bills, will you take turns, or will one person take on the job? Since paying the bills does not make you a dictator on how the money is spent, how will you talk about those surprise, or even secret, purchases?

4. Keeping separate checking accounts. The mechanics of what accounts you set up isn't the issue. Many couples in successful marriages have separate checking accounts and many have only joint accounts.

5. What will you save for? If one of you takes time off work for education, children, or job loss, where will the money come from for that person's family contribution? Will you have an emergency fund? How much will you set aside for buying a house? What about retirement? How will you allocate your monthly dollars to each goal?

6. When can you afford kids? Okay, kids are adorable and one of the main reasons we exist on this planet. But how you'll handle the cost of kids and the timing of starting your family plays a major role in whether parenthood will be a joyous experience or a stressful one.

7. What vacations will you take? Bali or Ocean City? Will you save for them or just load up your credit card and hope to pay afterwards?

8. How will you handle debt? What debts do you already have? When will they be done? What will you do with that monthly amount after payments cease? Put it toward one of your goals perhaps?

9. Financial notions from your family. Each of you has a family with its own money baggage. Were you overindulged? Are your parents struggling? Do they fight about money? What will you two do differently?

10. New wills new ways. Whenever you have anything of value, you need a will. If you die unexpectedly, you want your wishes to be carried out.

11. Protecting your shared dreams. How will you provide for your partner in the event of your death? What if you own a house that needs both salaries to afford? What if you have kids; how will one person feed, clothe, house and complete their education?

The real issue is whether or not the two of you can talk calmly and practically about money, saving, spending, and debt; not the answers. If your future spouse doesn't want to talk about money, or doesn't think talking about money is important, postpone your wedding until this issue is solved. Learning to talk about these 11 critical financial issues is a key component of marriage and an opportunity for sharing, compassion, and partnership.

Merra Lee Moffitt, AWMA, CMFC, CFP spends all day, everyday helping families reach their financial dreams and goals. She can be found at Waddell & Reed in Wyomissing, PA, 610-488-7353 or by email at mmoffitt@wradvisors.com.